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The Ballad of Bastard Bob


( 2001 Walter Farmer)
AMPCAST

This is the tail of Bastard Bob
Lived outside a town
Always caused a major fuss
Whenever he came around
Kickin' dogs
In a Screamin' rage
Always a little seedy
His ornery ways were ended the day
Ol' Bob got a little too greedy

Bastard Bob you better beware
None here gonna shed a tear
On the day you're laid to rest

Call goes out on the air
All units on patrol
Bastard Bob is robbin' the bank
All units start to roll
The note is passed
The sack is filled
The people hit the floor
Their nightmare will be shortly over
Ol' Bob wont make the door

Bastard Bob you better beware
None here gonna shed a tear
On the day you're laid to rest

Then Bastard Bob begins to shake
And the victims are relieved
Like knights defending royalty
They arrive upon the scene
Hands up in the Air
And put your weapon down
A careful shot from a rifle barrel
And ol' Bob hits the ground

Bastard Bob you better beware
No one here gonna shed a tear
On the day you're laid to rest

No one was in the cemetery
The day they put'im down
Eulogy delivered by an old back hoe
Scraping into the ground
Buried and forgotten
'Neath a nameless scrap of wood
Guess that's the best that can be expected
For a man who does no good

Bastard Bob you better beware
None here gonna shed a tear
On the day you're laid to rest

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